It’s been a while, I’ve been busy. But I figured it was probably worth taking a few minutes of my evening to put down my thoughts…
My grandfather (maternal) went into the hospital yesterday unexpectedly. It turns out that he had had a severe heart attack and required a quintuple bypass and valve replacement. No one really saw this coming as he’s always been in excellent health, especially for his age. In fact, he had met with his doctor Monday and had no problems.
Anyway, it’s a rough time for the family since we’re pretty close. We get together two or three times a year, and I’m not really sure what life would be like without him. My mom’s going to head down to visit (and help my step-grandmother) early next week. She’s taking Delanne with her, who has really been hit hard by this.
Delanne’s a really sensitive person, and it is interesting to me that one of her greatest strengths leaves her so vulnerable when this sort of thing happens.
Also interesting is how this contrasts with me. I’m so incredibly unemotional about so many things, and as I think about it, I think I won’t have much of an emotional reaction even if he dies tomorrow.
I mean, I don’t want him to die tomorrow, in fact I want him to live, but if he were to die I don’t know that I’d have an emotional reaction. Further, I’m not sure that I’d cry if my parents were to die (this one I’m not so sure about).
And it’s when I think about this sort of thing that I wonder if I’m dangerously emotionally disconnected from the world. I believe that emotional connection is a good thing, and as far as I can tell I don’t have that much of it.
Ah well, maybe one day I’ll have an answer…
Thomas